50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes. We all love a good pun; those moments where a play-on-words can elevate a news headline, quip or joke to iconic status. Never mind, I shouldn't spread it. Years ago I told my girlfriend a joke, it went something like this: But now Im not so sure. All I did was take a day off. This article contains content fromTabatha Leggett, Mike Spohr, Dave Stopera, Crystal Ro, Jessica Misener, Allie Hayes, and Jamie Jones. 23. 45. Ive written a song about tortillas. I was going to share a vegetable joke but its corny. Pun: A backward poet writes inverse. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. Sorry about that. The guy lied. 25 Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart - Reader's Digest What do you call a sad bird? 12. Doctor, theres a patient on line one that says hes invisible. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends. Other Jokes: Funology Jokes and Riddles 27. Great minds think alike), [This punchline is locked. Read more elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs! 69. Build a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. Well, yeah, the guy replies there was no punchline. It seemed very important to him that I have it. Then it hit me. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? How mean! My friends bakery burned down last night. My ex-wife still misses me. It will be a low key funeral. FTFA: A PIG born with just two legs has stunned its owners by learning to walk on his single pair of trotters. FARK.com: (8147761) A pig like that, you don't - Drew Curtis' FARK.com Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. 15. 48. A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick. Below, you'll find a list. There was nothing left but de Brie. 25. A standard British one is "You couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery." As my mate's best man, I tried to set up a brewery visit for his stag weekend. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. When I tell a joke, people always stop me before I get to the end of the punch line. The punchline has been left as an exercise for the reader. 120 Funny Jokes For Kids (And Adults Who Like Dumb Jokes) An arsenal of knee-slappers to keep the kids giggling. A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and mean your mother. But I just can't throw the old one away. Well that was fast You cant run through a camp site. Which vegetable might you find in your basement? Liudmila Chernetska / Getty Images/iStockphoto. I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey, but I turned myself around. (feel free to imagine a dulled "Huwwuh? This page is a comprehensive list of Luan Loud's puns, pranks and jokes, sorted by episodes from the Shorts, Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5, and Season 6 . 22. At prom, she asks him to get some punch. Thanks for explaining the word many to me, it means a lot. I hear that the punch served at that party over there is really good, go get me some, and your drinks are free. All rights reserved. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never LookBack, Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, ForGood, The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever ToldYou, 5 Mindset Shifts To Stop RelationshipAnxiety, 5 Epic Songwriting Tips Inspired By Daisy Jones & TheSix, 6 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To FindLove. What do you call a punch mixed with a dog? One table has soup, and the other table has a punch bowl. I told them, "Just you wait!". Pun: He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. Why did the rooster go to KFC? I think I'm Pauline in love with you. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. That is the joke. As if he were the punch line to a joke. She never says "No" to a shag, she has great tits and even swallows. Done! He notices that they are a Priest and a Rabbi and both are holding ducks. They said, Thank you. Isaid, Dont mention it.. and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? 5 Funny Gambling Jokes. All I did was take a day off. 28. Read these best friend tweets for more laughs. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger. I told him, My door is always open. Arlington, TX. Spoiled milk. My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having sex with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). If you travel on a cramped plane, you end up with jet leg. Back on the phone, the guy says OK, now what?, 8. Enter these funny one-liners. The girl asks, "Why not?" My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. That's right we rounded up the most ridiculously stupid jokes that the internet had to offer, thanks to Reddit and Twitter. The person who invented the door knock won the Nobel Prize. A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. The bartender said, Sorry, we dont serve spirits here.. Those bastards called back. Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? What's the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling Pants. Just got fired from my job as a set designer. Its 90 degrees. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. That would be a big step forward." "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!" "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. That was a nice jester. Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke. Nows when you ask: wheres the punchline? My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. "She knew I was still a novice and it was within reason, but I couldn't really land a punch on her. This joke made be bad, but these other whats the difference between jokes are hilarious! Check out these other dog jokes that are pawsitively hilarious. I use a spoon. We really need to raise the bar. We can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons right now. Put 14 carrots in it! The cows got the udder. Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. One liner tags: fighting, political. they finally take the italian into the room, but as much as they . If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". a joke?" I think shes a keeper. Then at the prom he goes to get some punch. I have absolutely no idea so if anyone can think of a punchline for this please help me. These insanely stupid jokes from Ask Reddit will give you belly laughs. My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, Watt?. Many of the punchline upvoted puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? If stars would fall every time I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty. 55. 80 Short Jokes and One Liners! - Health, Tips, DIY, Quizzes, Riddles 41. Does anyone know how to avoid clicking jokes that have been ruined by putting the punchline in the title? Couldn't organise a two-man rush on a three-hole shithouse. 56. Professor of Logic Merch: https://www.redbubble.com/people/robtzn/shop?asc=uFollow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sparkleforesst The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! But one day I said to myself: get a grip woman, enough is enough. ", A guy walks into a bar. Allen: A certain alleged violinist should hold his head in shame. 55. Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Because they can't keep a straight face. Dad: Red. These hilarious animal cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans. Check out these 25 clever jokes thatll make you sound smart. Enter these funny one-liners. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. The eeriest. [4] "Just remember, I'm a unique individual. How do you know when you're a bad comedian? There was one dog. You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is? The monk gets out $5 and hands it over, the vendor pockets the money and motions for the next customer; the Buddhist asks why he hasn't gotten any change. We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book. So we got some punch and left. What if there were no hypothetical questions? SNOW JOKE Cheeky fans make the same joke as Elle Brooke braves the cold in tiny bikini. Dont you hate it when someone answers their own questions? Its from Uncle Ben. #dadjokes, My wife told me I need to quit playing Wonderwall on guitar. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta. 147 Best Stupid Jokes - This is the only list you need. - Gamertelligence When the cannibal showed up late to the buffet, they gave him the cold shoulder. The leek! Whats not to love? I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. 100 Best Dad Jokes175 Bad Jokes101 Corny Jokes200+ Jokes for Kids101 Bad Puns. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches. I used to be good a telling jokes, but now I just punch up the fuck line. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. If you wanna find out, please buy the Punchline dlc for 49.99$ or have a chance to get it from a loot box for 2.99$ each, Give me a random NOUN and LOCATION using the above format, and I'll give you the punchline. eBay is so useless. Well, to be Frank with you, Id have to change my name. 12. Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? With an itheberg. This wasn't a joke. 61. All jokes aside, I am so grateful for you" Get it? The man turns around: Its not a lion. 24 Insult Jokes - Fart.com I got fired from my job at the bank today. Now thats a dad joke if we ever heard one. 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